The leaves are turning…

2015-10-04 16.06.25

Beautiful, aren’t they?

They stopped me in my tracks last week. The leaves have been slowly turning for while but last week was the first time I’d really paid attention. The colours took my breath away but you know what my first thought was? “There’s no green left.” I like green. For me it signifies calm, and growth.

But growth is not always calm, is it?

These leaves are not young. They’ve been through a few seasons and soon they’ll fall, making way for something new. In the meantime, they’re turning. They’re no longer green. But they are red, orange, yellow… In one leaf, I see all the colours. A fire in my hand…

Earlier this week I watched someone cleaning up the park with a leaf blower. We always like to clean up the mess don’t we? And eventually (in the case of the leaves), it needs to be done for practical reasons. But nature is messy. There’s no getting away from it. I feel a bit messy at the moment. I’ve been too busy to think about it though.

That sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? I’m too busy to think? A conversation with my friend and brilliant career coach Hayley Wintermantle jolted me out of this nonsense today. I told her I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and when she asked me questions about how I take care of myself, I talked about all the stuff I was doing that meant I was too busy to take time out… Then I talked about stuff I was doing for me (not much)… and even as I spoke I knew I was making up stories (we all do it). I’d got sucked back into the ‘busy’ story once again.

When I stopped talking for a second, I noticed the language I was using… I ‘have’ to, I ‘can’t’, I ‘do’ x, y and z, I’m busy ‘doing’… Even when talking about relaxing, it was all about what I’m ‘doing’ to relax. Wow.

So when was I being?

You’d think, as someone who makes personalised meditations for coaching clients, that I’d place a high value on meditating myself, wouldn’t you? Well, lately I haven’t. In fact, it wasn’t until today that I even noticed I haven’t made time for meditation for almost a month now. How did that happen?

No wonder I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.

Back to those leaves… I tend to find that changing seasons also bring about change within me. As the leaves turn, I’ve been changing too. But as with the leaves, I wasn’t paying attention. Soon some of those leaves will fall. I wonder, when the leaves fall, does it hurt the tree? Or are they ready to shed? Am I..?

The honest answer is I don’t know. I’m changing some things. You may have noticed some changes on this website, I’ve updated some of the words but I’m not done yet. There are more changes to come so for the minute some pages are missing. I guess I’m shedding. But that’s ok. Things change. People change. I’m still me. I’m just making space for new leaves to grow.

New Story Starter_How do you make space

So, to make space, I’ll be taking a few days off in the next few weeks. How about you? Are you spending enough time just being? How will you make space for something new to grow..? Do share in the comments below – let’s just be, together.

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12 thoughts on “The leaves are turning…

  1. Ah, you are very wise – I do think we need to spend more time just being and making space for the new growth. Not sure what I’m going to do on that front though – perhaps make time every evening to just sit and stare into the fire – I do think flames are hypnotic and soothing but usually I think ‘ah, lovely, the fire’s lit… now, must crack on with x, y and z.’ and before I know it it’s nearly gone out. Thanks Rachael, I do love a philosophical post.

    • Wise? Ha! Actually I think the wisest people know the don’t know much, really. So maybe I am 😉

      I definitely need space for growth… And I love the sound of sitting staring into the fire… Hmmm, I might light some candles tonight to do the same – meditate on the flames. Thanks! 🙂

  2. This post made me smile 🙂 I definitely need to make time to just be. I’ve never been very good at relaxing but there’s so much going on in my life right now that it feels more important than ever!

    • That’s always the way isn’t it? The more that’s going on (the more ‘busy’ we are), the more we need to make space… It’s definitely true for me anyway! Hope you get time for some more breathing space soon Sophie 🙂

  3. This is exactly how I feel at the moment, in need of some ‘shedding’. I’m taking next week off everything that I feel I should be doing to spend time doing some things I want to do. I’m hoping it leaves me refreshed and inspired. Hope your time off does the same x

    • Yes! Half term is great for taking time out isn’t it? I’m planning to take some time just for me after that but equally looking forward to chilling out watching kids movies with my son next week! Hope you enjoy the break x

    • Thanks! Things are already changing, as always! Just focusing on the important stuff now and looking forward to seeing what’s next 🙂

  4. I love Autumn. To me it is the most beautiful of the seasons. Perhaps because I am September born, I see this time of year as signifying a time of change; another year, a time to reflect. It’s totally ok to feel overwhelmed sometimes or to feel vulnerable about what the best thing to do is. When this happens, bottle it and channel your energy into your creative practice. Annoyingly I always do my best writing when slightly tortured! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Enjoy your precious “me” time!

    • Hi Susie, yes I’m a Spring baby (well, was!) and usually find that a time of reflection but perhaps it’s the turning of the season in general rather than one specifically. Food for thought! Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

  5. Yeah, I’ve been noticing the leaves around my neighborhood turning from green to brown. And all of a sudden they’re nothing but reds, oranges, yellows and a whole lot more of browns. As for your question, I’ve definitely not spent enough time just being. And I don’t even know when I’ll find the time to do just that when there are so many things I have to do. When NaNoWriMo is only 4 days away, then there’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. Sigh.

    • Hey Lidy, good to hear from you! It’s hard isn’t it, sometimes, to find the space for ‘being’ in among all the things we have to do… I hope you find a little space for yourself (even if it’s just a long soak in the tub!) between now and the end of the year. x

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